


A Question of Love

by Kara_Eclipse



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-03-28 01:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13893288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kara_Eclipse/pseuds/Kara_Eclipse
Summary: Nolofinwe gives up on his older brother ever finding him as anything but a nuisance then finds out that maybe he was wrong about how Feanaro feels after all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much just a self indulgent piece to try to get the brothers to actually act as family. I know that an elf would probably fade under the circumstances I loosely described.

Feanaro would never accept him. Nolofinwe smiled bitterly as he finally accepted that fact. Closing his eyes he bowed his head at last giving up any hope that he’d somehow win his half-brother over. Opening them again he sent a smile at his father, who was giving him a concerned look, and his children, who were alternating between glaring at Feanaro and giving him worried looks.

Slipping from the Great Hall he returned to his room lighting the candles after he entered the room then he picked up both a knife and a pen. He’d thought many times about just ending everything, but the hope that maybe things could work out somehow had stopped him from acting. With a sigh he pulled out a fresh piece of paper and started writing, after all it wasn’t fair of him to end his own life without giving some explanation for his actions.

Once he finished writing he left the note on the desk then moved to his bed taking the knife with him. Laying down he held up the knife and watched the candle light dance over the edge of it. Signing again he brought it to one wrist and carefully slid it over the vein, with how sharp the knife was it cut through his skin and into the vein easily, then he changed hands and brought it to his other wrist cutting that vein too.

Closing his eyes again he winced remembering the thinly veiled look of anger and what seemed like hate directed at him. Yes, this was for the best. Father could have his favorite son and he also had Arafinwe who had never disappointed him. Feanaro would no longer have to worry about him trying to take everything from him. The only concerns he had were about his own children and how his nephews would fare without being able to turn to him, but they all would make do probably better without him than with him.

Shaking a little he brought his hand up to look at the crimson liquid trailing down his arm. Watching it trace lines over his skin was entrancing though he was swiftly feeling drained and cold as he laid there the sheets below him turning purple from the blood mixing with the blue hue they typically were. A knock on the door startled him drawing him from the almost trance he was in. Looking at it he wondered who it was and what they wanted.

“Yes?” His voice thankfully was still steady.

“Nolo?” It was Arafinwe. He blinked stupidly at the door wondering why his little brother was there.

“What is it Ara?”

“Do you mind if I take Aracano with me to Alqualonde when I leave tomorrow morning?”

Nolofinwe wanted to smile, yes that would work out well. Aracano would be safely away when he was discovered and thus would not see the mess he’d made of his arms and the bed.

“Of course, I won’t see you two off though.”

“Oh,” Arafinwe sounded sad but resigned. “Well I’ll let you rest now. Good night Nolo.”

“Sleep well Ara.” Nolofinwe said loud enough for his brother to hear then murmured to himself. “Good bye little brother, take care of my children okay?”

Finally he let his head fall back on the pillow and closed his eyes again. The chill spreading through his body tried to incite shivers though he repressed them until he simply didn’t have the strength to any longer. At some point his eyes opened again and he stared up at the ceiling briefly wishing he’d indulged in having something done to it, a mosaic or painting something more than the flat color, perhaps it was fitting that his last sight would be the color his elder brother seemed to favor the most.

For a moment he thought he heard another knock on his door but wrote it off as his imagination because there was no way the person he though he heard outside his room would knock on his door. His mind tried to drift, wanting to seek someone else as the world around him started darkening, but he carefully kept it from doing so figuring that if he allowed it to drift he would give away what he was doing and that someone would stop him.

As his mind finally started going quiet and his vision faded he heard a crash as his door was flung open. A small bittersweet smile curved his lips and he finally blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

Feanaro grew impatient waiting for a reply from his brother and flung open the door. As it crashed into the wall he felt a brief moment of guilt which quickly vanished as he saw Nolofinwe laying on the bed. Irately he crossed the room, as he got closer to the bed where his half-brother was lying the feeling that something was wrong got stronger and stronger. At last he noticed the blood running down Nolofinwe’s arms and staining the sheets he was laying on. Alarmed he moved to his half-brother’s side wrapping his hands around his wrists over the cuts. Turning to look at the door he spotted a servant.

“You, go and find a healer.” The servant paused looking at him uncertainly. Feanaro snarled, “Get moving already!”

The servant nodded and ran off. As he shot down the hall Arafinwe appeared at the door. His youngest half sibling gave him a disapproving look before noticing the unusual position he was in, crouched over Nolofinwe with his hands wrapped tightly around Nolofinwe’s wrists. Frowning Arafinwe walked closer.

“What is going on Feanaro?”

“Nolofinwe’s wrists have been cut.”

“What?” Arafinwe asked astonished. Feanaro nodded but didn’t move his hands.

“I came to talk to him but he didn’t answer the door.”

“You entered his room without being told to come in.”

“Be glad that I did. If I hadn’t we wouldn’t have noticed it in time.”

The servant returned dragging a healer who was clutching a bag of supplies. Seeing the situation the healer seemed to sigh but noticing the tense and worried look that Arafinwe was directing at Nolofinwe he moved closer, his eyes widened in alarm catching sight of the sheets.

“How long has he been here?”

“We don’t know. He slipped out of the Hall earlier but I didn’t catch when.”

The healer frowned and moved one of Feanaro’s hands. Checking the damage the healer frowned even more shaking his head a little. “I don’t know how much I can do or if I can save him but I will give it my best effort. My prince I need you to keep pressure on the wrist.”

Feanaro and Arafinwe both nodded and watched as he set his bag down and dug through it finally pulling out a needle and some thread. Swiftly threading the needle he tied a knot in the end and then started drawing it through the cut skin carefully and quickly sewing the wound closed. It seemed to take forever before he finished sewing the wound closed and then he started wrapping it tightly in bandages. Feanaro swallowed thickly and moved to the side though he kept his hand tightly wrapped around Nolofinwe’s other wrist. The blood that the sheets hadn’t absorbed was seeping through the fabric of his pants nearly causing him to cringe as he realized that there was a chance that Nolofinwe wouldn’t recover from the injuries.

Looking around the room he tried to find something else to focus on. Catching sight of a piece of paper on the desk he frowned. “Arafinwe there is something on the desk.”

Arafinwe jumped a little before turning to see what Feanaro was talking about. Seeing the paper he walked over and picked it up. As he scanned the words it a frown graced his face. Finishing reading it over Arafinwe gave him a look.

“It’s addressed to father… by Nolo. He-” Arafinwe sighed shaking his head. “He thinks that this will make things better… easier for him… at least that’s what he wrote.”

A chill seemed to run through not only Feanaro himself but also through the healer who was looking at the paper in Arafinwe’s hands. Feanaro cleared his throat causing him to jump. “You still have this wrist to do.”

Nodding he moved around the bed bringing the bag with him. Feanaro finally moved off the bed again and looked at his hands. The sticky crimson liquid covering them seemed strongly ominous to him and he looked around for some way to clean it off of them.

Spotting a pitcher he crossed to it and looked to find that there was some water in it pouring some in the bowl next to the pitcher he washed the worst of the blood off his hands and then wiped them on his pants forgetting that they had blood on them too.

Shuddering as he remembered just how much of his brother’s blood was on him now Feanaro looked at Arafinwe pointedly. “We need to tell father what happened.”

“Yes… but Naro-”

“He needs to know Arafinwe. Imagine how you would feel finding out that one of your children did that.” He gestured to Nolofinwe’s limp form on the bed, his wrists now both wrapped securely in bandages.

“If one of his children did what?” Both Feanaro and Arafinwe jumped and looked to see their father standing in the doorway looking at them both curiously. Feanaro spared a moment to be glad that they were between the door and the bed because seeing it before hearing what happened would be worse.

“Ah father-” Arafinwe started uncertainly.

Feanaro sighed and stepped forward slightly, wishing briefly that he’d cleaned his hands better from the blood that had gotten on them. “Nolofinwe did something that you should be aware of.”

“If this is about the council meeting last month-”

“No, it’s… he tried to kill himself.”

“What?” Finwe’s eyes widened at the blunt statement. “When?”

“Earlier tonight, he… he cut his wrists.” Feanaro moved aside so Finwe could see the bed and the healer that was looking at it seeming rather upset. Finwe took a couple of faltering steps forwards and then rushed to Nolofinwe’s side.

“My King, we need to move him.” The healer said quietly. Finwe seemed to shake himself and looked at the healer confused. “The bed has a lot of blood soaked into it and he needs a clean bed. I suggest the room near the gardens where the gardeners are treated so that he can be watched until he’s well enough to move around on his own again.”

“Yes, okay do it.” Finwe replied nodding and Feanaro snagged the paper from Arafinwe’s hands as his half-brother started moving closer to their father. Arafinwe gave him an incredulous look when he slid the paper into one of his pockets shaking his head.

“Prince Feanaro, Prince Arafinwe, may I call upon you two to help move Prince Nolofinwe to the other room?”

“Yes, of course.” Feanaro agreed, stepping forwards to do as requested. Arafinwe followed a moment later and when they lifted their brother they were both surprised to see how dark the sheets were under him and how even his clothes seemed to be stained by the blood he’d lost. Their father followed them to the new room after pausing to gather clean clothes for Nolofinwe.

It didn’t take them long to get Nolofinwe settled on the bed in the room that the healer had suggested. Feanaro wanted to leave to change his clothes but he found he couldn’t take his eyes off of Nolofinwe’s still form. At some point Finwe called for two chairs to be brought and pushed him to sit in one of them.

Feanaro felt dazed as everything started sinking in at last, yet he found he didn’t want to leave until he knew that Nolofinwe would survive. Not even Indis visiting the next morning, and then crying against Finwe’s shoulder, convinced him to leave the room. Feanaro dozed fitfully in the chair through the next day only moving to eat and take care of any other necessary things but even then he returned to the chair not long after he left.

It was evening before Arafinwe got back and he wondered when he’d left but shrugged the thought off choosing instead to light a few candles around the room to ward off the dark as night fell. It was then that Nolofinwe finally started stirring and Feanaro sat down and glared at him despite internally rejoicing that his half-brother would indeed pull through.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up slowly, the world seemed to take forever to settle around him properly, Nolofinwe caught the sound of muffled crying. Slowly opening his eyes he saw the ceiling of a room used for recovering from various mishaps around the palace, most often used by the gardeners who accidentally cut themselves. The white color seemed blinding after the red of his own ceiling and the black that colored his vision last time he’d been awake. Still exhausted, no doubt caused by the blood loss, he slipped back into the depths of unconsciousness.

The next time he woke the ceiling was darker, flickering a bit from a candle or fireplace flame, and there was a soft crackle of a fire of some sort nearby. Groaning softly he turned his head wanting to see something else, the sight that met his eyes was Feanaro sitting in the chair next to the bed glaring at him. Internally he cursed because why was he alive still and more importantly what was his half-brother doing there.

“What did you think you were doing?” Feanaro demanded.

Nolofinwe wanted to laugh at the question, he never thought that his half-brother was so oblivious. “I was trying to die, isn’t that obvious?”

Feanaro glared even fiercer at him. “Yes, but why?”

“Because I am not needed nor wanted. Surly you realize you made that perfectly clear to me.”

Feanaro recoiled surprised. He looked away angrily, crossing his arms over his chest drawing Nolofinwe’s eyes to his hands both of which had some dried blood on them. Frowning at the sight Nolofinwe tried to figure out where the blood had come from.

“He’s the one that found you, and he kept you from bleeding out while a servant found a healer.” Arafinwe said from the side of the bed opposite from Feanaro. Nolofinwe tensed and then looked at his little brother warily, hadn’t Arafinwe been planning on leaving in the morning which it was almost certainly long since past now? Still his little brother was here and seemed as angry as their half-brother. “What were you thinking!? Do you really think we do not want you?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Nolofinwe asked tiredly. The answer that resonated in his mind was yes he really thought that. He was a substitute for his brothers, there for when they weren’t because no one else wanted to be but things would go on just fine without him. They had before right? So they would do so again.

Alarm and anger crossed Arafinwe’s face, and were echoed by the sound of a chair crashing to the ground where Feanaro had been sitting. Hands curled into his shirt and lifted him from lying on the bed to face Feanaro. Giving him a shake Feanaro coolly demanded. “So you’d put father through the pain of losing a son just for what? To die because I made you think you aren’t wanted?”

“What would you know?” Nolofinwe demanded finally giving vent to some of the anger and hurt that he’d just bottled up for centuries. “What, you lose a mother and so when he remarries you get to be an ass because you don’t want him to be happy with someone new. Yet when someone decides to relieve the strain that causes, however it may be done, it’s unacceptable? Which is it? Do we need to be alive and well or do I need to just vanish so you can go back to your peaceful life where you are father’s world and Ara can go back to Alqualonde where you never need to even think about either of us again? Which?!”

Feanaro reeled back clearly surprised by Nolofinwe’s accusations, his hands automatically loosening their hold on Nolofinwe’s shirt. Nolofinwe didn’t even bother trying to fight to stay sitting up, he just allowed himself to fall back onto the bed as his half-brother’s hands loosened enough for the shirt to slip free. Arafinwe moved to sit next to him and helped him sit up again though Nolofinwe ended up leaning heavily against him.

“Enough, this isn’t helping.” Arafinwe said giving them both reproving looks especially Feanaro.

Nolofinwe said nothing to that but stared at his hands noting the bandages that were wrapped securely around his wrists. Suddenly it hit him that he’d almost managed to die and he started shaking. He’d wanted it for a long time but never managed because of his need to keep trying and now that he’d managed to do the act he’d been saved by the person who had him wanting it in the first place.

Maybe if he’d had more energy he’d have started crying, but he felt so utterly exhausted that he just leaned against Arafinwe a bit more and closed his eyes. He’d failed and now he’d be watched for a while to keep him from doing this again. Hollowly he asked, “Am I to never be able to rest?”

“What do you mean?” Arafinwe asked quietly, giving his shoulders an affectionate squeeze with the arm he had wrapped loosely around them.

Nolofinwe shook his head letting it fall forwards so his hair hid his face. “Never mind… it doesn’t matter.”

“It does. Whatever it is contributed to the mess you made of your arms.” Feanaro said pointing at his bandaged wrists. Nolofinwe looked at him blankly trying to figure out why he was still there. As though sensing his thoughts Feanaro crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the wall over his head. “Father was worried so I said I’d stay until he got back.”

That explained it though it didn’t explain the look Arafinwe was giving him. Nolofinwe shrugged it off and closed his eyes not wanting to see the emotional swings that Feanaro and Arafinwe seemed to be going through, he was tired enough already. “I wanted to stop dealing with it all, the Halls are quiet and peaceful right, so I should be able to rest there not worrying about how Naro is going to be mad about something I said or did or about how my actions reflect on father or even about how I need to get some information or another to you or to stop everyone from fussing about mother being a Vanya. Can’t I just stop it all and rest? Is that truly too much to ask for?”

Despite his lack of energy Nolofinwe felt tears start to form and one slipped down his cheek to drop on the blanket in his lap. Another one started to follow it but a calloused hand brushed it away and then both he and Arafinwe were being given a tight hug. Whining softly he pressed his face against the soft fabric covering his half-brother’s shoulder, his hand gently and loosely curling around Arafinwe’s wrist.

For a long moment he expected to be pushed away but instead Feanaro just held them both. Arafinwe laughed softly after a moment causing Feanaro to make a questioning sound.

“It’s just… Nolo did this because of you but somehow it seems that by doing so he managed to help things get better between all of us.”

Feanaro shrugged but said nothing to that. Instead he shifted and moved Nolofinwe until they were settled with Feanaro’s back against the headboard. Shrugging his shoulders again jostling Nolofinwe a little Feanaro earned a disgruntled sound from him.

“What?”

“Don’t ever do that again, okay? You… worried us.” Feanaro’s voice was tight and Arafinwe tightened his arms around them both. Clearing his throat Feanaro continued. “I thought you were… that you were dead, and Arafinwe he’s the one who got father and there was…”

Nolofinwe sighed and tried to stir himself from the near sleep he’d fallen into listening to Feanaro’s voice. Giving both of his brothers as tight of a hug as he could manage he nodded. “I’ll try not to worry you again.”

“Good.” Both Arafinwe and Feanaro said at the same time. Nolofinwe smiled a little them relaxed letting sleep drag him under again hoping that everything would still work out like this when he woke again.


	4. Chapter 4

“You ‘stayed because father was worried’? Would it kill you to admit that you care too?” Arafinwe asked Feanaro incredulously.

Feanaro growled softly at Arafinwe, careful not to wake Nolofinwe up now that he was sleeping again, since that was apparently a good thing. Giving his half-brother an unimpressed look Arafinwe carefully brushed his fingers through Nolofinwe’s hair, partially to move it out of his face and partially to reassure himself that his dear brother was still alive. The implications in the note that Nolofinwe left on his desk stuck with him.

“He’d probably think I felt guilty.” Feanaro finally said.

“No... I don’t think he would.” Arafinwe replied looking at Feanaro thoughtfully. “Did you actually read what he wrote?”

“No. I was more concerned with the fact that Nolvo felt the need to try killing himself and figuring out what triggered it.”

“Your fight last night triggered it if I’m correct.”

“We always fight.” Feanaro scoffed, but something in how he said it told Arafinwe that he truly wanted to know what exactly caused him to think that.

“You do... but not like you did last night. You yelled that he was a disgrace in front of everyone over the fact that he was trying to ensure that the other smiths, those who answer to him would be able to get what they needed first..”

Feanaro flinched at the reminder, the sudden motion causing Nolofinwe to stir. Both Arafinwe and Feanaro stilled and focused on him for a long moment. Feanaro impulsively hummed the first song that came to his mind. Nolofinwe stilled then relaxed again snuggling a little closer to them both.

“I hadn’t...”

“I know, but apparently that was just too much for him to handle emotionally. I’d talked with Aracano about him coming with me so Nolofinwe could rest and relax but now that I think about it I think it was already too late by then...” Arafinwe spoke lowly, guilt coloring his tone as he watched Nolofinwe sleep.

Feanaro sighed and tightened his arm around Nolofinwe shifting him so that his head rested against his shoulder more comfortably. After a long moment of silence He sighed and spoke. “Arvo, please... we can’t let this happen again. What- It’s my fault, so what do I need to do?”

“It isn’t-”

“It is, if what you think caused this is right then it was my fault.”

Sighing he shook his head. Nolofinwe would be mad at him for making his observation. Still they needed to do something, the sight of his older brother just laying there like that frightened him. As though reading his thoughts Feanaro kissed the top of Nolofinwe’s head and then pulled him a bit closer.

“I’m sorry Arvo.” Feanaro murmured softly. “We’ll work together on this okay? Because I don’t want to see that again.”

He nodded his agreement because he never wanted to see that ever again. “Together. Naro... something about that note and Nolvo’s words bothers me. He- I don’t know it’s just he said that he wouldn’t be missed.”

“What about his children?”

“I don’t know... maybe he thought they wouldn’t need him around any more.”

“Okay, we all know that’s a lie. If you’re going to lie at least make it believable.”

“It was an idea. I know that it’s not true, but if I knew what he thought we wouldn’t be here now.” Arafinwe snapped, he didn’t mean to but the whole situation had him very much on edge.

“I know. Sorry it’s just that this is Nolofinwe.”

“I’m aware of that.” Arafinwe replied tartly. “It’s my brother. You know the one who actually treats me like his brother most of the time.”

Feanaro scowled but said nothing. Instead he focused on Nolofinwe again and started murmuring under his breath. Arafinwe sighed feeling guilty for snapping like he had.

“I’m sorry, Naro. I’m just scared because what if we don’t figure it out?”

“We will.” Feanaro said giving him a nod. The quiet certainty in his voice caused something in Arafinwe’s chest to relax a little and he nodded leaning his head forwards to rest against Nolofinwe’s shoulder. Feanaro was right, they would figure it out.

“Tomorrow... go home and wash.” Arafinwe said smiling a little.

“Are you saying I smell?” Feanaro demanded a playful indignation in his voice.

“Yes.” Arafinwe replied grinning, his hand gently wrapping around Nolofinwe’s wrist over the bandages. “Once you’re clean again we can talk about this with Nolvo if he’ll answer us.”

“Fair enough... you’re telling Anaire though.”

"What? That’s not fair!” Arafinwe replied indignantly.

“Hey, quiet down... he’s sleeping remember?” Feanaro reminded him.

Arafinwe jabbed him between his ribs, causing Feanaro to hiss, and settled quietly again. “We can talk about that tomorrow.”

A sleepy chuckle was his only answer before he felt Feanaro relax in sleep. Smiling a little again Arafinwe decided he’d stay awake as long as possible because he wanted to enjoy this, having both his brothers close and not fighting like normal.


	5. Chapter 5

The first thing Nolofinwe noticed the next time he woke up was that it was cold. Far too cold if he compared it to what he remembered when he fell asleep. Shivering, and he felt ridiculous because it was not that cold, he looked around. Though he would deny it seeing the lack of anyone present both surprised and saddened him.

Pressing his face to the pillow he wondered briefly if he’d only dreamed that Feanaro and Arafinwe had been there. Probably, it seemed unlikely that his half-brother would willingly be in the same place as he was for long. He managed to roll onto his side and curled up dragging a pillow to his chest clinging to it trying to stop the tears that burned his eyes from falling.

So close, he’d come so so close to going to the Halls to rest. Yet he’d failed, and now who knows where his knife was, probably not where he could find it, also that note that was for after he’d succeeded was in who knows whose care as well. Shaking slightly he tried to pull the pillow closer, moving his wrist wrong and there was an unexpected wash of pain from it.

Releasing the pillow he raised his arm so he could see the wrist, his eyes widening in slight alarm as he saw red spreading across the white bandages. Quickly yet carefully he moved his other arm so he could carefully unwrap the bandage to see what sort of damage he’d caused. Just after it fell away, as he was examining the damage done the door opened.

Glancing up he saw Arafinwe and internally groaned knowing just how this would look to him, blood running down his arm just after he’d tried to kill himself. Arafinwe’s eyes widened with alarm and he quickly crossed to the bed where Nolofinwe was laying slightly curled.

“What did you do?” Arafinwe demanded crossing to his side and grabbing his wrist tightly.

Wincing he very carefully did not try to free himself from his brother’s hold. “Nothing.”

“Nolo I am not joking what did you do?”

“I did nothing.  All that happened was I wrapped my arms around the pillow and pulled some of the stitches.” Nolofinwe replied sharply glaring at his younger brother.

Arafinwe seemed to study him for a long moment before nodding slowly. “Okay, Put pressure where I’m holding while I go get the healer.”

He nodded and did as Arafinwe instructed idly noting that the two of them needed to talk. Perhaps after the healer took care of his wrist they could do so. Arafinwe returned after a few moments with the healer who sighed seeing him keeping pressure on his wrist.

“You need to keep from moving your hands too much, they are going to be very delicate for a few days at a minimum, likely longer with the damage you did to yourself.” He was informed as the healer took care of replacing the stitches.

Once the healer left he sat silently against the headboard watching Arafinwe move around the room. After a long moment Arafinwe turned to him and asked, “Do you really think we don’t care?”

Nolofinwe sighed and looked away. “I’m replaceable.... Anaire will find someone who loves her the way she deserves, others can easily take care of the politics, Naro never cared before, an-”

“Shut up! Just shut up okay?!” Arafinwe snapped walking closer to him. As his brother’s hands moved towards his face he tensed expecting a slap or something, instead they gently cupped his cheeks and Arafinwe pressed his forehead against his own.

“Maybe you are right, we could make do without you, but you know something? None of us want to. I spent three hours this morning talking to Anaire and your children, and they all kept asking me if you would be okay.” Arafinwe told him gently.

Nolofinwe blinked and tried to pull away or to look away but Arafinwe kept him from doing so, his gaze pleading. “We want you here Nolo, not in the Halls, and if it gets to be too much we want you to tell us.”

Something in Arafinwe’s voice was so soft and caring that tears started running down his cheeks unbidden. “I can’t.... ‘m the one who does things for everyone else remember?”

“No you aren’t. Not right now. Right now your job is to let us take care of and help you.” Arafinwe said then he kissed his forehead releasing his cheeks. 

Nolofinwe impulsively wrapped his arms around his brother and buried his face against his shoulder still crying silently. There was a pause before Arafinwe wrapped his arms around him and started running his fingers through his hair just letting him cry until finally he calmed down.

“Thank you Arvo.”


	6. Chapter 6

Whatever progress that one night- had that truly happened or was it just a dream?- had made towards repairing or even simply starting a relationship of some sort with Feanaro seemed to have vanished like mist as soon as he next saw his half brother. The way Feanaro moved made Nolofinwe feel as though by simply breathing in his brother’s direction he would be attacked. It was with relief he called for someone to enter when he heard a knock on the door.

As the door opened Nolofinwe seemed to perk up and a smile curved his lips. There in the doorway was not just one but both of his sisters. Lalwen looked at him and frowned while Findis nodded at Feanaro and entered the room guiding Lalwen with her.

“We heard that you were in here from Arafinwe, he did not say why though.” Findis informed him though her tone told him that she had her suspicions.

Lalwen it seemed noticed the bandages around his wrists and gave a small cry of alarm. She gently curled her hand around his and lifted it off the bed. “What happened to your wrists?”

“He happened to them.” Feanaro said acidly crossing his arms.

Nolofinwe flinched at the statement and looked at the bandages. Findis sat on the edge of the bed and gently ran her fingers over Nolofinwe’s cheek trying to get him to look at her. After a moment of trying to make sure he wouldn’t just start crying Nolofinwe looked at her. Reading the question in her eyes he nodded.

“Oh, Nolvo...” Findis pulled him into a hug.

The warmth of the gesture and the safety of being held by his sister was enough to get him to cry. Soon Nolofinwe was clinging to her as well as he could without moving his hands too much. Lalwen scooted closer and wrapped her arms around him too, no doubt wanting to make sure he knew she was there and cared.

It took him several minutes to calm enough to let go of Findis and to settle on the bed again, by then Feanaro had gotten up and left the room. Findis carefully laced their fingers together and settled next to him while Lalwen sat next to his leg.

“Brother... Please tell me you won’t do this again.” Findis asked gently, her thumb rubbing gentle circles against the back of his hand. 

Nolofinwe sighed and shook his head. “I have no intention of doing so.”

He left out that he’d wanted to just pass to the Halls without anyone knowing until it was too late. That was something that more than enough people knew. Feanaro was likely angry with him for it now that the ‘worry’ had passed and Arafinwe had already made his view of it plainly known.

“You know... Findis has a suitor now.” Lalwen informed him with a grin before Findis could press for more.

“Lalwen!” Findis cried indignantly, her cheeks flushing.

Lalwen laughed in response to it though when her eyes met his Nolofinwe saw a sad understanding coupled with the grief and shock that finding out he’d nearly killed himself brought. He offered her a small smile and nod in thanks to which she laughed.

“It’s true~” Lalwen said with a cheeky grin to Findis who glared at her.

The two of them bickered and told him of their visit to Valmar until one of the healers came and shooed them out. Before they left Lalwen pressed something into his hand making sure that he alone knew about it before leaving. Nolofinwe forgot about it as he dozed off though later he would be grateful that Lalwen had made sure not to let Findis or someone else see her give it to him.


End file.
